I DIED IN MY DREAMS

yesterday ... driving lesson kinda sucked ... early-stage i got owned n keep mati enjin n keep kena fucked off by da fucking instructor ...

but after a while things got smooth again ... i think i was in a very bad mood that day even tho i may not look like it dats y realli cant concentrate ... in fact i was hoping the driving instructor fall sick so i dun hafta go driving dat day ... lol halfway driving suddenly andy sms me say good luck n dun mati enjin =.='

den b4 dat went andy's house to learng guitar for an hour ... he wants me to advance fast but i on the other hand wanna take it step by step , as slow as possible , cuz i wanna get used with the basics first ... damn i tot i can master the basics fast then move on , but it seems its taking longer than expected ... but i did felt better cuz it was peaceful ... badminton court nobody den the guitar help shifted my attention temporarily ...

den at nite ... headache ... ate dinner den wanted sleep at 9 but cant ... laid there for like 30 minutes ... thinking n thinking ... 3 tears trickled down T.T aihz feels so nostalgic ... its like going back in the past a few years back when i culd still cry freely ... den anywayz woke up n shared my problems with sum1 ! cannot mention who dat sum1 or else yh n maybe even andy sure harrass dat fella asking y i depress XD den hmm i didnt share all my problems la , i just shared two ... one is the malcolm incident ... and another is , well , a secret ! XD

i shared my probs wit dat person cuz i noe oni dat person can help solve my problems ... anyway !! after tat went msn chat wit tj n yh ... omfg funny like hell we all laff laff laff XDXD den samo yh told us about how sim garang to kok loon to ask him print tj's blog out , LOL i can imagine her facial expression !!! den yh oso tell about how eli was reading all the badwords in tj's blog ... AHAHAHAH i can imagine how da fucking funny dat wud have been !! XDXDXD den there's one thing im pissed tho ... i am pissed cuz they let sim read tj's blog . tj wuz obviously pissed lar cuz his blog was meant onli for frens ... i noe how he feels ... he place his trust on his frens , but his frens betrayed it ... lucky the consequences weren't so heavy ... even wai bin oso kena betrayed b4 . his blog he blog about his feelings for seong ling den he gave da link to his frens n say dun giv her see ... but someone show it to sL ... i can imagine how betrayed wb mustve felt ...

anyway for me i dun mind if my blog show to da public ... show to Liew lar how i fuck her off , i dun mind ...

anyway b4 i signed out ... i suddenly felt depressed all over again !! wtf !!! suddenly wished an aeroplane would smash into my house suddenly , or a car would bang me when im crossing the road and put me into a state of permanent coma ... aihz ... dat feeling realli sux ya noe ? but theres nth i can do bout it ... aihz ... cuz The Line Is Dead !! i now have no acceptance towards my one and only previous answer i had for Life which worked ultimate wonders ...

den went to sleep lor ... had a weird dream ... i dreamt i was walking along a dirty pasar road , den i came across this stall set up on the floor . i bent down , bought a glasses n wore it . den the moment i wear it , the world changed . my life became cursed . i could see skulls emerging from the ground . i stomped on them n cracked them into bits and pieces , but there were too many . dead zombies revived and grew upwards from the ground . i started fighting em off ... running , fighting , running , fighting ... it was an endless battle ... finally i faced a zombie skeleton that cant seem to die no matter how many times i attacked it ... i forgot to eat my Potion and he killed me off , just like that , and a red color Game Over word came in front of my view ... i had died in my dreams , what is that supposed to mean ?

den i woke up . 9 am . i laid down thinking n thinking till 10 am . i didnt want to wake up until i got all my questions answered . i didnt want to wake up and face the World . i want to lie down and keep on dreaming ... the cruel cruel world ... i couldnt face it ... i didnt wanna face reality !!!

aihz ... i guess i need to stone away n think deeper the next time round ...

oh for those who think i feel like the world is crumbling down ... YES , it is , for me . actualli since last time i also felt that way liao , den suddenly dat feeling halted , the world stopped crumbling further ... but then just recently it resumed its progress and is breaking apart at an even faster rate now ... LOL huh ? nvm i still feel slightly better edi after sharing my probs wit sum1 yesterday ahahaha ...